New to me!

I feel led to share. I believe I am to be candid and I believe I am to be honest to the point of vulnerability. I have stuff to say! Those of you that know me, will say this isn’t ‘New to me.’ When I stop grinning at the images of friends who would point that out, I’ll admit, that theirs is an accurate assessment, Yet, the path God paved (and continues to pave), that brings me here is worth sharing. My reflections, experiences, memories, etc. might entertain some of you, offer insight to others, and, honestly, might freak some of you out. But I look forward to this. Not sure yet why He wants me to ‘put it all out there’ so-to-speak, but here goes!

My husband and I are empty-nesters. At least, I think we are. Jimmy says they’ll be back, that they always come back. We’ll see if that happens. But right now, we have no children under our roof. Our oldest graduated from college in May and moved into her first place in July. And we moved the youngest into her dorm just days ago. What I experienced during the days up to her (the baby) leaving was a confusing mix of emotions: sadness, anxiety, thanksgiving, and admittedly, some excitement. Honesty alert: she is only 40 minutes away, but still! She is not directly under my roof and she has a job and she is responsible for her own laundry and eating healthy, and, and, and… The cool part: she’s ready. I did my job. Jimmy and I did our job. The next step in that job was to let her go do her ‘thang.’ You can’t plant the seeds just to smother them. They have to have room to grow to reach their full potential. You want them to bloom. I want her to bloom.

So what do you think was the first thing that we did as empty-nesters? We cleaned the house, and we went to the drug store to buy some reading glasses to share. Ha! Amazingly, we can now see that our house is clean. Even more amazing is that our house was clean the next day, and continues to be so. Of all the things that people have said about empty-nesting, no one shared the ‘clean house’ part. And a clean house is worthy of sharing, something to look forward to, even!

But I have some concerns about the empty-nest thing; fears, actually. I cannot remember not having children. I cannot remember what Jimmy and I have in common outside of the girls. I cannot remember what it is like to just be us. You see, while it’s ‘Job well done’ with the girls, we haven’t put the needed time and attention into our relationship. Dating my husband will be new to me! 


About CarynTillman

I'm a wife. I'm a mom. I'm an aunt. I'm a sister. I'm a friend. Most importantly, I'm His.
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